My Life Will Be Different

Of all the challenges faced this year, nothing compares to the heartbreak of losing my beloved father in June. The sadness I feel literally takes my breath away. I can’t believe I will never see my father again. At some point, I hope I will be able to write about grief and the powerful feelings associated, but now, I just want to post this beautiful piece mother wrote. My parents were high school sweethearts and were married for over 56 years. They embodied the meaning of soul mates and were rarely ever without each other. They complemented each other beautifully - each filling the gaps for the other - creating a beautiful and loving partnership.

This from my mother . . .

My husband is gone but I’m still here and I wonder how that is possible and what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. 

I’ve decided to put myself in the middle of a little lifeboat and wait for the storm to pass.  I’m not going to rock the boat! 

I’m not going to adhere to all the advice that’s always being offered.

I’m not going to busy myself with things I don’t care about or do things that don’t interest me.   

I’m simply going to wait for the crushing waves to subside. 

I’m trying to be patient with myself. 

I’m trying to understand that I will always miss him and life will never be the same. 

In due time, I’ll be able to get out of my lifeboat and walk along the shore. 

Where I’ll go and what I’ll do are uncertain. 

All I know for sure is that my life will be different.